“I” From “Not I”
When a child
watches someone “hide” a seed under the soil and cover it with
heavy earth and some water, he thinks it is gone. He cannot
imagine that such a small seed could push its way out from its
apparent hiding place and reappear. But when you see someone
plant a seed, you know that it is no going to disappear and die.
What is it that
makes you know that the seed will grow? And what is the child
lacking which causes him to think that it has vanished?
Experience. Experience gives you the power to know that within the
seed there is something which has so much energy that it can break
the soil and come out. Lacking that experiential knowledge a
child does not yet have the vision of the one who knows.
There is a smilar
difference between a person with vision and one without. At the
sight of what some people call an ending or “death,” the wise
person feels no insecurity because he perceives the cycle of
enternity in each process of change. Those without vision, like
the inexperienced child, see everthing right now, “they say, “for
when I am gone, it is for good, and all will be buried in a
graveyard.” Those who harbor such fears of finality ae not at
As long as we have
concept of “All is lost!” so long shall we have sadness and
tears. Rather than create sadness when a person departs, let us
see in this light when person has gone, he or the may have gone
from your eyes, form your circle, but not form the universe. The
person has gone from the form, but not from the essence. When we
understand this truth, we enlarge our vision and say: “What is
lost? Only the form. A gold ornament may be broken or melten
down, but the gold is safe. A new ornament can be made out of it;
only its form will be different!”.
Let us realize
that we are all on a sojourn to complete, fulfill, or undo
something. We are all on mission,. It is an experience, not an
intellectual lesson. Feel deet within you that a loved one who is
no longer with you has gone to continue his mission, to complete
the work he was carrying on in this life. The relation you had
with him will evolve. Go on sending loving vibrations to him.
Your vibrations will become wings but not your tears.
envision the continuity of eternity in each seed, in each
form. Let us see the same thing in us. The form becomes broken
or decomposed ,but there is something in the centre of all the
forms-some thing which is change less.that something is sentient
When we can see
the expression of this energy in a seed, in even so tiny a seed
as the sesame seed, we can observe its power. Its sprout is so
vibrant with strength that it can break the heavy earth. It
is so intent on growing that it can push through the dead
insenient harsh matter covering it and through it off. Why?
because it has living sentient life. If we become aware of
this powerful senient energy in us,of this growing life process
which we all are, we will be able to cast off the load of
matter which weighs us down.
If you get that
insight, your life will be changed buoyant and flowing. Why?
Because you will realize that in this last stage of your
evolution, in your human existence. You are in touch with your
reality. You are seeing your eternal nature. You are contacting
When you know this
in your experience, not only in a mental or conceptual way, then
you will shed all fears and anxieties. Like the person who moves
from house to house according to the season, you will know that
wherever you are, in a different country, climate, planet, abode,
situation, or birth, you have not “gone” anywhere; you only make a
change of house, a change of form.
Now what you call
“I” is merely a name. As a “he” or a “she”, “I” is a form. As
an angry or a happy “I”, it is an emotional “I”. When you say: “
I am going to do as I did yesterday,” that “I” belongs to a time
period. None of these “I’s” is you. They are hundreds of names
reflecting in hundreds of broken mirrors, the mirrors of moods and
labels—rich, poor, angry, depressed happy, sad, high, low. “I”
mirrors are not your real qualities; they are conditions.
Pleasures and pains, ups and downs are transient; they come and
When we enter into
an experiential level, we know that sentient energy passes through
stages of life. What we call girl, old lady, sick person, dying
person are all stages seen in the mirror. Why have we not yet
seen ourselves in our eternal nature? Because of karmas; we have
not distinguished our true nature from conditions and stages and
mirrors. We continue to identify ourselves with the transient
roles we play.
comes when you are able to disengage yourself from all conditions,
from all forms of insentient energy, and see yourself as sentient
atman. Real meditation stars from the moment you say: “This
sentient energy and this is I. This energy cannot be abolished or
This is the “I”
which has no ego. The mirror “I’s” were conditions of insentient
moments and you were identfying with those temporary conditions.
Now you see that just because the “house” is “old” it does not
mean that the “indweller” is “old.” Now you can visualize
yourself as sentient dwelling in the “house” of insentient, or as
sentient wearing the “clothes” of insentient.
Now why is it
that certain kinds of insentient energy are around us and not
other kinds? Because we created the forms in that way; our own
desires invited the kind of insentient vibrations which surround
“I made myself” is
a new concept for those of you who were brought up to think that
“I am made.” The perception “We are makers” may frighten the
The mind tends to
shrink from that responsibility because it is not used to taking
that high position. It reacts in the old, conditioned way. It is
not easy to uproot conditionings. For example, in India, even
though the caste system has been abolished by law, many minds
still remain in slavery to “unsociability,” and the inferiority
complex of the so-called “untoouchables” has not faded easily.
We must come to
know in our own experience that their whole galaxy is ours and
that we are moving from place to place, from planet to planet
without any obstacle. Everywhere we have access. Why? Because
the whole universe is meant for sentient energy. The universe is
nothing but a testing ground for atman’s unfolding. According to
our desire, our unfolding, our longing, our perception, our
living, we select a form, a birthlplace, a family, and all the
Untill we get the
experience of “I am immortal,” we will not grasp the meaning of
the unconditioned state of soul. The nature of soul is to live in
freedom forever. In partnership with insentient, soul or sentient
energy can experience this freedom in different degrees depending
on its stage of growth and the depth of the meditative
In meditation, we
experience ourselves as a mirror of the divine, or the divine as a
larger self of our self. We come to realize that creation is not
a person but a process, a process over which we have control.
What is this
process? According to the state of consciousness of our soul, our
sentient energy will be either in a state of attraction or
repulsion, or it will have transcended both poles. In its own
natural siddha state, sentient energy has risen above these two
and no longer sends out negative or positive vibrations. Its
vibrations are what may be described as pure, unpolluted, formless
and indestructible. Whe they are expressed by a pure soul, they
are experienced as pure love and bliss. A human being who has not
yet reached that state of realization will be at a certain level
of attraction and repulsion. According to that level, he
vibrates. According to those vibrations, thoughts are produced.
These thoughts then take on structure made up of the karmic
particles they have attracted. According to those then take on a
structure made up of the karmic particles they have attracted.
According to the density and quality of the particles surrounding
the soul, a person will act.
realize that thought has form, that will be a new era for
mankind, just as our presence in from be an electrically oerated
door generates a form or force which causes the door to open, so
thought takes form. As we recognize the power in an electrical
current though it is invisible, we must also acknowledge the power
of thought forms.
How can thought
forms be seen? By becoming aware of the way in which everything we
think as results. By seeing that our lacks, sicknesses, pains,
sorrows are the results of our thoughts. By realizing that
thought are more dynamic than physical actions.
Many people think
that it does not matter what you think, but when the power of
thought and its subtle yet direct effect on action is known, then
people will make a change in their thought patterns. Do you think
that you have beeen treated unfairly or that someone has abused
you or that something has come to you from “out there”? Nothing
comes to you from “Out there” without first being invited by you
from within you. This is a universe in which every thought is
registered, and what is in the storehouse will come. So if your
have lost your job or have contracted an illness, often it is
because you job or have contracted an illness, often it is because
you have gone down in your thinking process.
We tend to see
the results rather than the cause. We need merely to see that
there is a connection between “me” and what happens. We must
experience our inborn potentiality to make and create. What we
are now calling ourselves—man or woman, short or tall, black or
white, educated or ignorant, is nothing but our “make-up.” Wehave
made ourselves in that way. Way cannot blame God that some are
rich and rich and others poor. We can only say this: There is a
process of life. In this process, every soul, in one way or
another, in a vibration of attraction or repulsion, during his
night of ignorance or under the light of knowledge, makes his life
form in that way.
recognition and acceptance of the fact that no outside element or
person can be blamed for our present conditions, we realize that
we cannot shirk responsibility for what we are. Our actions, life
style, physical appearance, circumstances—these are
concretizations of our own thoughts. Then we begin to become a
gatekeeper to our mind, not allowing a single negative feeling or
unpleasant thought to invade our mind. We know that whatever we
put inside our mind will start working like a computer. With this
new sense of inner strength and responsibility we start creating
oour future right now in this very thought moment.
For our thoughts
to be dynamic, everthing must synchronize—thought, word and
action, and all three must be in true with the highest level of
sentient energy. Thought, word, and action must vibrate on the
same frequency as all living life. Otherwise, a good thought may
arise. But the resut will not come. For example, a person may
think: “I want to live long.” But it he harasses or harms living
beings in speech or in action, how can the universe vibrate in
harmony with his desire for longvity? The universe cannot vibrate
in harmonious response until thought, word, and deed synchronize.
So h e who wants to live long and happily must learn that first he
has to let others live long and happily.
Some say: “All
day I sit and pray and noting happens!” Because action is zero!
When action does not synchronize with thought, dichotomy is
Wanting to do
something and allowing conditions hold you back makes you withdraw
frok carrying out a positive thought. Such a withdrawal is a
withdrawal from your own commitment to growth as well. If you
tell someone that you will help him and then restract your offer
the moment he comes to you for aide, you are creating duality in
yourself. You are making slces of your whole life. When you know
this, you should say to yourself: “I don’t want to turn my life
into lilttle bits and pieces. Let me live a life where I feel my
words, feelings and actions in unison.”
It is the nature
of the unenlightened mind to take form according to the object
before it. If the object tempts the senses, the mind starts
desiring it. If it gets what it wants, it becomes temporarily
happy. That is called pleasure. If it does not get what it
desires, it goes on pining for it. This leads to frustration
which in turn leads to depression. That is called pain. Both
pleasure and pain ae transitory, the by-products of a mind
enslaved to need or greed. Such a mind is nothing but an old
dusty attic, filled with the old objects, thouoghts, and desires
which it has collected, accumulated, and reflected.
As long as the
mind is not receiving the light of awareness, it remains in this
state of fluctuation, transmitting the vibrations of attraction
(raga) or repulsion (duesha).
At this level, the
consciousness of the unaware human being is hardly different from
the instinctive consciousness of animals whose desires are merely
to eat, sleep, procrate, and collect. When the mind enters a
state of depression, it is charaterized by a heaviness and
immobility comparable to the mineral state.
But we are all on
the path of evolution. It is the nature of soul to sprout
upward. It is the nature of consciousness to become more and more
open. It starts from the mineral state and goes on evolving until
at last it raches the enlightened state of evolution: universal
consciousness. Even though the mineral consciousness may not be
noticed due to its seeming immobility, it has a slight level of
consciousness. We have seen that even the smalest seed has life
force, sentient energy. Before it is planted , it is in a state
of outer slumber. When it is planted in the ground, its
cosciousness is evident because of its urge to grow.
consciousness goes through suffering and the natural processes of
life: continually coming into contact with different vibrations,
continually shedding old form and putting on new ones. At last it
reaaches the level of human consciousness or “Who am I”
consciousness. No other from of life can ask itself that
When a human being
undertakes to ask himself that question, he has embarked on a
journey to uncover his own reality. He has committed himself to
step forward toward evolution. He has begun to enlighten his mind
and start using it in the way it was meant to be used th help
sentient energy to become aware of itself.
energy becomes aware of the Self, it stops permitting the mind to
give form to negative elements. When the mind stops creating
images of accident, illness and death, these negativities will no
longer bombard the mind and negative events will not take place.
When the mind acts
as a help rather than a hindrance, it becomes a link between
sentient and insentient, between soul and body, between
consciousness and expression of consciousness. It will act as
light bulb reflecting the source of the power to which it is
connected, conscious enlightening energy. When the mind is
functioning as receiver and transmitters of sentient energy, it
manifests consciousness through what we call knowledge,
recognition, cognition, perception, and memory.
When the mind has
become quiet through the use of mantra, and through its
enlightened understanding of the philosophy of vibrations and
karmas, we can go beyond body, speech, and mind and experience
what we are in essence. At the time of a deep meditation, the