Seeking Our True Nature 

Meditation is a means to experience the music of the trinity of head, heart and hand.

If these three are in unity, life becomes a symphony played by an orchestra and we enjoy living.  But when there is disorder and discord, even thought we try, life has no harmony or joy.  When and orchestra plays, first the musicians tune themselves with each other.  They train themselves to harmonize and each player gives ear to the other musicians.  Each adjusts hi instrument according to the others and then really joyful music flows.  A beautiful symphony can be produced only if there is balance and harmony.  If these instruments can become animated in the hands of the musicians and produce such uplifting music, think what an animated life can be produced when our five senses are in balance.  With the help of medication, we bring body, mind and spirit together; we seek the connection between the tone and the time.  This lifetime can create an immortal symphony, which will bring harmony and bliss to yourself and the people around you.

             Meditation does not mean you go away and hide, or withdraw from life to be a hermit and avoid responsibility.  Meditation is unity and harmony.  The meaning of medication is to be with life.  If you are eating a piece of bread, enjoy it.  Don’t compare yourself with people eating delicacies in the waldorf Astoria.  Only when your mind is with you are you happy.  When the mind goes somewhere else, unhappiness is created.  We start looking down on ourselves.  We imagine that life is working out well for rich men, or politicians, or famous personalities.  It is always working our well for someone else, but not for us.  Even in a peaceful moment, the mind steps in to tell us we are wretched.

             Thinking this way, we ultimately become afraid of happiness, afraid of joyo and bliss.  We believe the joy of life is meant for others—the great saints and enlightened men;  that others must be gifted with some outside light and energy:  We think,  “I don’t have that gift, it is not for me.”  And if it comes, we withdraw, thinking that enlightenment is not meant for us; joy is not meant for us.  Believing this, it will never come to you.  Even if it does, you withdraw from it, you don’t enjoy it.  But if someone tells you a certain teacher is enlightened, you run to hear and see him.  You believe enlightened you run to hear and see him.  You believe enlightenment can come to everyone but yourself.

             Thinking this way, we ultimately become afraid of happiness, afraid of joy and bliss.  We believe the joy of life is meant for other—the great saints and enlightened men; that others must be gifted with some outside light and energy: We think, “I don’t have that gift, it is not for me.”  And if it comes, we withdraw, thinking that enlightenment is not meant for us; joy is not meant for us.  Believing this, it will never come to you.  Even if it does, you withdraw from it, you don’t enjoyo it.  But if someone tells you a certain teacher is enlightened, you run to hear and see him.  You believe enlightenment can come to everyone but yourself. 

            The whole society lives in this way and some religious teaching emphasize this way of thinking.  For example many traditions put women in second or third class.  The priests have always been men, women could not carry the message.  In some ceremonies women are not allowed touch the vessels.  Why? It is the deep guilt and feeling of sin, the idea that sex is unclean and evil.  We are taught we are guilty of what is called “original sin.” For thousands of years these kinds of thoughts have been hammered ad nailed into our minds.  You mar try to come out of it, but it is in the air, on the radio on Sunday morning.  It is deep in our minds, so it is very difficult to get away from it. 

            Eventually, we lose respect for ourselves, and we come to fear joy, bliss and enlightenment.  Recently one of our students was meditating very deeply for many days going deeper and deeper, there came a moment When he began experiencing bliss and aa deep merging with himself.  Bliss was engulfing him, it was embracing him and all the tension and fear and sadness were melting.  Then the fear of bliss overcame him.  He was so shocked that he got up and said,  “No, I don’t want this.”  It was a unique experience.  He thought, “No, I am not ready.”

            It is like the story of the musk deer.  It has a gland at its navel, which secretes musk and gives an enchanting scent.  Catching its own smell in the air, the deer begins to run, seeking the source.  Eventually it runs blindly into the desert, where it is very hot and there is no water.  Its quest drives it into the wilderness where it becomes exhausted and dies.

 The musk deer has a life of tragedy.  If does not die naturally, but dies in this fruitless search.  The poor creature never finds peace because it never realizes that he himself is the source of the thing he desires most. 

            We all have this desire, this quest to know ourselves, shows we have the real quality inside.  A chair or brick does not feel this desire or quest; it has no divine animating quality.  But this special quality in us has been covered by many layers of opinions and conditioning, Meditation helps us remove the layers which have covered our nature.  In meditation we are not doing anything or going anywhere.  We are oluy removing the layer so our true nature can unfold and blossom. 

            To have this desire, this quest to know ourselves, shows we have the real quality inside.  A chair or brick does not feel this desire or quest; it has no divine animating quality.  But this special quality in us has been covered by many layers of opinions and conditioning.  Meditation helps us remove the layers, which have covered our nature.  In meditation we are not doing anything or going anywhere.  We are only removing the layers so our true nature can unfold and blossom.

             The life of happiness is so strong and powerful that we must prepare ourselves to be ready to receive it.  Our body, our mind, our soul must all be made ready.  If you don’t have money in the bank and you try to write a check for $1,000, you may wear a smile and pretend you are not bothered, but inside you know you are lying and cheating someone.  It is not what is on the outside that really matters, it is what is inside.

             In meditation we sit and watch ourselves and see how many times we have to pretend, we have to feel big and important, or we have to act holy.  It may be painful to watch if you want people to show respect and admiration or you want people to say,  “Oh, you are a very special person, you are very spiritual and high.”  Then you will smile a little and say,  “Yes, I am practicing spirituality.”  Inside you know how angry you are, how jealous you are and how competitive you are.  Ourwardlyyou pretend to be holy.  In meditation, sit and watch, say to yourself,  “What game am I playing?  How am I pretending?” 

            As long as pretension remains, the truth will not dawn.  Truth is not an abstract word, it points to what is real in life.  When you accept real life, you may say,  “I don’t wear the mask of a smile.  I am angry, you must know.”  Or you ay say,  “I still have many, many desires to be something, to make a show of myself and be in the spotlight.  I acknowledge that I have this background.  But I am striving to free myself from these shackles, from these chains of my past.”

             Sincerely and seriouslyyou accept yourself.  Don’t try to collect opinions and praise for yourself.  The more praise you hear, the more you have to pretend.  You have to keep yourself to that standard, and it is a very difficult task because people build great expectations.  They say,   “You are a good person.  You are very cal, you have no desires, you are above all these things.”  Then you have to cover your faults so people can’t see them and you can obtain more praise.  When you meditate, you are not creating any split personality, you are becoming genuine.  There is no more pretension. 

            It cannot happen overnight.  Those who say they are changed instantly don’t know the meaning of change.  Experience is different from words.  When you sit in meditation, you become you own guru.  Gu means “darkness” and ru mens “remover”—you become the remover of your darkness.

 
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